In 1999 some colleges sounded an alarm against a phenomenon referred to as “mallspeak” that seemed to pervade student discourse. Student speech riddled with “likes,” “you knows,” and “whatevers.” This kind of speech was not limited by context: it was used when students hung out in the cafeteria, when they were making presentations in the classroom, and when they found themselves in the “real world.” This article describes a short writing/performance assignment that creates an awareness of the power and eloquence of well-crafted language.